Yaksha's POV

After he left to do his work I couldn't make up for my sleep anymore. My sleep was already disrupted and I didn't want to fall down on that bed anymore, lying and not doing anything, for the hundredth day. 

I wanted to be useful for once. I have learned from Aaliyah that a queen has some duties. Of course! Like handling the inner court, deciding on menus for the guests and inner palace's people and something else too that I forgot. It's okay I will try to do them one by one.

I called out for Meena and some attendees and told them to run a bath for me. While the other attendees were running the bath I told Meena to take out a lavish outfit for me. I should radiance the power of queen from my outfit. Right? That's what they did in those dramas. Oh gosh I don't know!

"Here. Look at this one baisa. It's as you wanted. Simple but precise work with beautiful stones and thread. I think this will do."

Meena took out a stunning white lehenga. As she hold it in front of me with the other person's help, my jaw hit the ground. I gulped immediately trying not to drool at the lehenga. How is this so beautiful, so gorgeous! The book in history didn't do any justice describing these clothes. 

"Baisa? Do you not like it? Should I take out some other?"

"No!" I stood up immediately. 

"It's perfect. I will wear it. Is the bath ready?"

An attendee came behind me and bowed her head, "It's ready Begum sahiba."

I nodded my head once and she went back to the bathing room.

I am in awe with myself. How did these 3 months went by? I came here, got married, now have a husband at the age of twenty and I am weirdly so used to all these. As if I never time traveled. As if, I belong....here. All the things I do it's like I have been doing these for ages.

An attendee helped me remove my clothes while another helped me with the light jewelries I am wearing. They wrapped the white cloth around my body as I sat on the warm water, letting the tension flow down my body.

I lay my head on the side of the tub, closing my eyes. While the persons in charge help me apply various pastes, scents on my body and face.

How weird isn't it? I don't feel as embarrassed as I did when I had others bath me. I remember the chaos I caused when they told me I had to remove all of my clothes, in front of them. I said I didn't want them to help me. And now I didn't even blink an eye.

Time. It always helps to grow. It helps you get accustomed to every situation. Even the situation you never imagined yourself in. Like I didn't.

I didn't imagine myself here, a so called queen of a kingdom, who doesn't even have the slightest idea about politics or anything. But the person whose body it is, they do. I am just an invader. I wonder if I can ever find out the answer of this....of me being here.

If I do can I go back? If I go back then will real Yaksha be gone? Like dead? Or will she come back here again and I can go back to my time? 

I-I should feel good with the thought of going back right? Then what is this clenching pain in my chest that I feel when I think of not being here? With-with him, my husband, the sultan.

Why do I feel like this when I imagine him spending the of his life with the real Yaksha, someone who isn't me. What is wrong with me! If I had the chance to back I would! Right?

I jerk my head away from the side in frustration as the water splashes all around the tub and some on the attendees beside me. Shit.

"Gustakhi maaf kar dijiye begum sahiba. Humse koyi galti ho gayi hain?"
( Please pardon us begum sahiba. Did we make any mistakes?)

They kneeled on the floor, lowering their heads as their body was trembling but they were doing a good job trying to hide it. Good. Now I made them scared of me for no reason!

"Nehi. Aisi koyi baat nehi hain. Jal thoda garam tha toh hum chaunk gaye."
(No. Nothing like that happened. The water was a bit hot so I was shocked.)

"How could you do this! How can you not check the temperature of the water used for the queen before using it upon her! Are you new? Have you never did this before!" Meena said raising her voice a bit.

She was always like this. Protective of me in every situation. Not you but Yaksha dumb girl, a voice in my head mocked me.

Right. Not me. I feel like I am living a borrowed life. And suddenly I will have to pay a big mortgage to pay for living like this. Of constantly lying, pretending and taking love which isn't mine.

What's wrong with me! Why am I thinking all these out of no where! They must've loved Yaksha but it's me now! It's me who they care for.
They don't.

"It's okay Meena. Don't scold them over something so trivial.Please do not worry. I felt the water suddenly when I was zoned out so I jerked my body in reaction. Please continue."

"You cannot say please to us begum sahiba! Just order us. We are here for your service only."

Oh my god. They look like they will cry any time soon. 

"Right. Still just because you are here for my service doesn't mean you don't deserve respect. You are human too. Just saying a simple word like 'please' doesn't make me any less of a queen. Now please continue."

They gave me a defeated look and started putting thousands more paste on me. But hey, at least I smell like a flower and a fruit cake at the same time.

I got ready wearing the heavy yet lavish lehenga. Some were drying my hair with the ash pot while others were helping me wear the jewelries.

As one of them started placing the anklets on my ankle I immediately stopped her.

"No. Not that one." 

"What? What do you mean not that one? It looks so pretty?"  Meena looked at me confused.

"Where is the one that Sultan gifted me on the day of the celebration? I want to wear that one." 

"Ahh you should have said that at the beginning. I will bring it."

A moment later she came back bringing the pair of the beautiful golden anklets in a wooden box in her hand. She hand it over to the girl who was helping me put on the anklets and she started securing it around my ankles.

As soon as she put the anklets on my face turned crimson red. The anklets, the celebration, sultan kneeling in front of me, him kissing my legs, my body, e-even my chest and then kissing me like a madman— the memory flowed down one by one.

Unknowingly my fingers clutched the fabric of the lehenga.Oh god. He was right. Now every time I would look at these or wear these anklets I will remember all of that.

"Are you okay?" Meena squeezed my shoulder looking all worried.

"Yeah! Perfectly okay. I felt a rush of heat all of a sudden." Yes, heat in my body, in my....

"You shouldn't go if you are not feeling well today. We can go sometime later." Worry laced her voice.

No. I am perfectly okay. Don't worry over every trivial thing Meena. And if I don't take on this duties soon people will think I am an incompetent and lazy queen and their sultan deserves someone better." Like hell I will let that happen.

"Fine! But if you don't feel well we will return without any delay."

"Ji mata shree samaj gaye abhi chale?" 
( Yes my mother now shall we go?)

I think it's because they all the Yaksha has lost her memory and that's why they are always extra cautious and protective of her. Of me.

Before she could answer an attendee entered and said I had a guest.

"Who is it?"

"It's shehzadi Bisma Begum sahiba." 

As soon as the word left her mouth my nose flared in anger. How dare she! Does she really think I am going to meet her after the stunt she pulled off? And most importantly,why isn't she back yet!

"I don't want to meet her. Tell her to go back." From where she came from if possible.

"Baisa! You can't just reject a meeting like this! Do you know how people will talk behind. And not to mention she is sultan's cousin sister!" Meena hissed.

And that has to do anything with me because?

"But I-" I tried to protest but she shook her head as if there's no space left to debate.

"Fine." I gave in not finding any way to fight back with her.

"Let her come in." I nod at the attendee standing at the entrance of my dressing room. She went away quickly obeying my request. 

Ugh! Why do I have the responsibility of meeting her! I am queen, I should be free to decide who I want to meet and who I don't.

But I guess even people of high rank, such as queen can't make their own decisions, they are only here deciding on the behalf who can't make the decision. They make the high ranking people take decisions on their behalf like a puppet.

I sighed as I saw Bisma entering the dressing room with a grin on her face. I wonder what brings her here. Still I put a smile on my face and welcomed her.

"Assalamualaikum begum sahiba. Us din jashne mein aapse theek se baat nehi ho saki. Toh hum khud hi chale aaye tawarof karne."
( Assalamualaikum begum sahiba. That day on celebration we couldn't talk properly. So I came myself to introduce myself properly.)

I put my 'can you please fuck off, I don't like you' smile face.

"Of course. But why did you take this hassle? It is okay even if you didn't come."

I thought she would be offended. But she wasn't. What the hell! Instead she started grinning like I just cracked some joke. Did I? Cracked some joke?

"It's so obvious!" She put her hands over mouth and started smiling more.

"Obvious? What is obvious?" I looked at her confusingly.

"That you dislike me to the core of your heart!" 

If you know so much why did you come all willingly,was what I was about to say but then she started speaking again.

"I am not trying to claw on Rashid begum sahiba. I mean yes he is handsome but he isn't my type. I have found my type and I very much plan to marry him. Rashid is like a brother to me! Eww!"

What the-

"Then why did you say all that stuff?"

"Because you are so cute! And it's so fun to tease you! I was just teasing you Rashid's begum. That's what he calls you right? You guys are so cute!"

My face flushed red in both embarrassment and shyness. The fuck. I was getting so worked up over nothing? 

But then again she gave me some prominent reason and okay I admit I was jealous. I like him and he is my husband. Of course I am ready to throw claw at some other woman who even looks at him. 

He is mine. All mine.

"How do you know that?" I stepped forward to her.

"Know what? That he calls you begum? I went to meet him this morning. But he said he was busy, of course." She rolled her eyes and continued again.

"He said to meet him when he is with his begum at evening. But I couldn't wait meeting you so I just came. But honestly I am sorry for teasing you. I shouldn't have but I couldn't help."

I looked down while tugging a piece of hair behind my ear in embarrassment. God I must've looked so jealous and dumb.

Sorry Bisma, I take my words back.

"There is this beautiful garden in this palace that I am dying to visit. Will you accompany me?"

"Uh-I-" I wasn't sure if I was supposed to. But she seems harmless and fun. But then again I don't know her.

"Areh chaliye na begum sahiba. Aap ek bar dekhengi toh bar bar jana chahegi kasam se." She looked at me with pleading eyes.
( Please let's go begum sahiba. Once you see the garden you will want to go again and again.)

I gave up and nodded my head with a defeated smile. Let's see what garden is she praising so much about.

She came beside me, locking her arms with mine. As we proceeded to leave the chamber some guards and  other attendee joined us.

Ugh. I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Can't I have any moment without these followers. Why do they have to tag along every single time I am out of the room!

I turned around to look at them and they bowed down immediately. 

"It's okay. You don't have to follow us. Only Meena and the girls will do." I said softly to the guards.

"Humein maaf kariyega begum sahiba lekin ye Sultan ki hukum hain ke aap jaha bhi jaye hum sab aapke hifazat ke liye aapke sath jaye. Hum unke hukum ka bay qadri nehi kar sakte."

(Please pardon us begum sahiba but it's a direct order from Sultan to follow you everywhere you go for your safety.We cannot disrespect his order.)

"Ager woh aapke sultan hain toh hum bhi aapki malika hain. Humare nirdesh ka aapman kar sakte hain phir?"
( If he is your Sultan then I am also your queen. You can disrespect my order then?)

"Nehi begum sahiba!H-hum woh-" 
( No begum sahiba! I-that-) They started looking at each other clearly in confusion.

"As you wish begum sahiba. We are here only at your service." He sounded defeated as he backed down slowly still bowing.

I did a little victory dance in my mind. They listened to me over him! Their sultan! That's more like it! I can definitely be authoritative when I want to be.

"Let's go." I tugged Bisma by hand as we started walking.

As we started walking I realized the place she was talking about was quite far away from my chamber. I feel like I came here before. But when? This place looks so familiar!

"Bisma? Aur kitni der? Humse aur nehi chala jaa raha!"
( Bisma? How much longer? I can't walk anymore.)

I stopped clutching the heavy skirt in my hand. God I think I am going to faint. I should've practiced gymnastics.

"Bas thoda aur. Aa hi gaye samjhiye."
( Just a little more.We are here almost.)

That's what she said. But I had to walk for more ten minutes before we finally reached the said garden she was talking about and I felt like I was in some soft of heaven. Flower heaven.

Our chamber had a garden too. A beautiful garden with various flowers but this.....this is something else. I don't think I have seen a bigger garden than this ever in my life. So many flowers, organized by colors. It's like I forgot I even walked here and was tired a few seconds ago.

"Humne isse pehle itni haseen bhag kabhi nehi dekha. Humein iske bare mein pehle kyun nehi soochit kiya gaya? Pata hota toh roz chale aate!"
( I have never seen a more beautiful garden than ever. Why wasn't I informed about it before? If I had known I would visit it every day.)

Bisma furrowed her eyebrows. "You didn't know about it? But how is that possible? Everyone in this palace knows about this garden. Even praises from outside are heard."

Huh? T-then why did I not know?

I touched a yellow rose, bending down smelling the ever known enchanting smell of a rose.

"This was a garden built specially for previous sultan's second wife,Thaani begum. He gifted her this garden to express his everlasting affection like a flower." Bisma shared.

"Second wife? Then what about the first?" I straightened my body.

"Uh-she wasn't really loved. It was a political marriage. So my uncle married again to the person he loved."

My heart dropped immediately for the said person. I wonder how she felt when her husband brought another woman home, showed her so many affection when she didn't probably receive any. The said person in my mother-in-law right? 

It makes me wanna meet her more. I wonder why was I forbidden to meet her alone.

I started exploring the garden as a sudden voice of a female made me stop and flinch. "Bisma."

I turned around to look at the woman but Bisma's figure was blocking me from seeing her so I stood on my toe to slightly see who it was. But of courseI couldn't see. All I could see was the female attendants behind the woman.

"Chachijaan! Assalamualaikum!" 

"Walaikum Assalam. When did you arrive? You didn't even come to meet me." The woman said softly.

"I came just yesterday. I was about to-"

"Who is that behind you?" The woman asked.

Bisma finally moved which allowed me to finally take a look at the woman. She was an elderly woman probably in her late fifties. She was wearing the lightest cloth ever but still the aura she radiated made it obvious she was someone important.

I looked at her in confusion however immediately went forward to touch her feet to seek blessings but she stepped back making me touch the ground instead. 

I froze in my position. Why-why did she do that? I look up to her with widened eyes, unaware of what is my fault!

"Yaksha Ratan Singh .Ratangarh ki ek lauti rajkumari." She voiced in a bitter tone.
( Yaksha.The only princess of Ratangarh.)

I said nothing feeling ashamed and embarrassed about what happened just a few moments ago. I could feel the bickering and small laughs com from the back, from her attendees.

"Rashid se toh hum kabki ummed kho chuke the lekin unke begum bhi esi niklegi pata nehi tha. Kitne mahine ho gaye hain aapke nikah ka?"
( I lost hope from Rashid a long time ago his wife would turn out like this too I didn't know. How many months has it been since your wedding took place?)

"T-two months." I replied nervously.

She scoffed as soon as I replied.

"Two months? And you didn't have the basic courtesy to meet your mother-in-law? Or you were too busy living the lavish lifestyle of a queen?" 

I looked at her in shock. Mother-in-law? She is my mother-in-law? Rashid's mother? 

As if something hit me and I looked at my surroundings.Finally it clicked that this was the place Aaliyah wanted me to not stop. Their harem. The chambers of my two mother-in-law! A soft gasp of surprise left my mouth as I realized I had stepped somewhere I wasn't supposed to.
Fucking hell!

"I am more shocked by my own son. How incompetent does he have to be to not introduce us officially! And more so letting his wife wander around the harem like a lost bee. Seriously!"

She is talking about her own son right? Why is she insulting him like this then? In front of so many people? In front of his wife!

"Chachijaan woh hum le-"
( Chachijaan it was I who br-) Bisma tried to say but she stopped her immediately showing her palm.

"Bas. Tumto kuch na hi bolo toh behtar hoga. Humne pehle hi kaha tha Rashid se tumse nikah karle. Par nehi. Uske toh zehen mein iss Rajput ko mehel mein lana ka shauk sabar ho gaya tha. Wada! Kya hota agar wada nehi puri hoti toh!"

( Stop! It's better if you don't say anything at all. I had told Rashid to marry you before. But no. He had this obsession to bring this Rajput in the palace. Promise! What would have happened if the promise wasn't fulfilled anyway!)

My heart clenched at her words. I probably will sound like a bitch but she is the woman I felt bad for? This is my first time meeting her and she is treating me and my kingdom like some trash. I might not be the real princess but I am still carrying her name, her responsibility.

"Aapke liye humne pira anubhab kiya tha. Aapki stithi se humne karuna mehsus kiya lekin aap toh humein samman dena bhi uchit nehi samajhte. Aapne aapko ma kehlati hain aap? Aapni bete ka yu logo ke samne aa-samman karna kya ek maa ko shoba deta hain?"
( I felt bad for you. I sympathized with your situation but you don't even think about giving me the minimum respect. You call yourself a mother? Does insulting your own son in front of so many people suits a mother?) 

I questioned with irritation and displeasure.

"Badtameez ladki! Aapne baade ka ehtram bhi nehi dena sikhate kya Rajput log? Oh hum toh bhul hi gaye the bin maa ke beti kya hi sikhkar aayegi."
( Insolent girl! Don't Rajputs teach their girls how to respect elders? Oh I almost forgot that what will a motherless girl will even be taught.) 

The snickering from background increased making me feel more embarrassed.

"Esi maa hone se toh na hona hi uttam hain. Aur rahi baat humre sikhsha ka..humare babasa ne humein esi shiksha diya hain ke khudki aur aapni pati ki koyi aapman karein toh gudiya banke sune nehi, uska uchit uttar dey. Samman lene ke liye dena bhi padhta hain maa-sa."
( It's better to have no mother than having one like you. And for the education part...my father has taught me to give an appropriate reply if anyone insults me or my husband rather than standing like a doll. If you want to receive respect, you need to learn how to give too, mother)

I curtly said the word mother.

I don't care who she is. If she doesn't respect me and my husband then she doesn't deserve mine too. I wasn't born in this century nor I will tolerate it like most girls of this time.

"Well, well, well! Look whom I finally met. I came out because attendees heard some commotion but I didn't know I would finally get to meet our Sultan's beloved wife. So beloved that he doesn't even let her out and so beloved that she is arguing with the Sultan's mother!"  

An elderly woman, similar to Sultan's mother age, maybe slightly younger than her sneered from behind.

Now who the heck is this!