Yaksha's POV

I put my palm in my the both sides of my face and instantly felt
the warmth in them. I bet if I didn't have the veil covering my face right now people could see how red it is right now. I don't even need a mirror to prove my point because I know it.

My skin is still hot, specially the place where he touched earlier reminding me every second of it again and again. And my core was still wet wanting something, no someone to save me from this torture.

And I am thinking about all these in a middle of a formal dinner. How pathetic am I! Dozens of people are in the other side of the curtain while I can barely contain myself. When I reached here in the official place for celebrations I suppose, Dewane-E-Khaas, I could seriously feel everyone's precise gaze on me and my beloved husband.

I swear to god I never felt more embarrassed in my whole life except when I fell down the stairs in front my crush in 9th grade. The host of the celebration were late and not to mention they entered after the guests were already waiting for them. I haven't had a chance to meet the said guests properly yet. I just formally greeted them. His uncle,his first wife and his three daughters and three sons.

His taunting gaze is still bothering me. It's like he was saying 'How dare you come late while I am here' without even saying it. I sighed deeply peeking through them while all of the men were discussing something with political-ugh boring and us women were here.The other women were making small conversations but I couldn't even gather a single word. Boring too.

"Baisa where were you earlier? Me and the other attendees were searching for you in the whole palace. But then Aaliyah jiji told us to come and receive the guest with flowers. Even the sultan wasn't here! Do you know what it looked like? The sultan wasn't here to receive his guests.Oh god!"

"Meena kumari can you please calm down?" I whispered dreading this conversation. Your ears are too innocent to hear what we did.

Or maybe you aren't.

"Shant? Shant ho jaye? Aap thi kaha?"
( Calm down? You are telling me to calm down? Where were you?)

"I-uh-umm that-uh yes! I thought I was menstruating! So I went back to check! That's where I was!"

"Menstruating? But you did just a few days ago?

"Uh yeah it was just a false alarm."

I took a deep breath of relief as she seemed to buy my lies. My cheeks again reddened remembering the actual reason why I was late. I wonder If there wasn't a celebration happening how further would we go?

"So you are the Yaksha Rashid married? I couldn't attend your wedding since I was sick but I wanted to see you, you know. My replacement. If you are my replacement I wanted to know if you are prettier than me or not." 

I turned my face a little to the side with furrowed brows to see who is uttering such nonsense while lifting my veils slightly.

It was one of the daughter of Sultan's uncle. What does she mean by replacement? And does her mouth always spits venom?

"Humein shama kijiye ga parantu aap hain kaun? Hum bhul gaye." My voice cold. 
( Forgive me but who are you again? I forgot.)

You started it first woman.

She scoffed a bit.

"Kehne ko toh hum sultan ki begum banne wale the. Par phir aap aa gayi aur sulah ke liye Rashid ko aapse nikah karna padha."
( I was about to become the wife of the sultan. But then you came and Rashid had to marry you because of the truce.)

I don't know what it was but every word of her angered me. Everyone calls him sultan but her saying it made me feel infuriated. Because I call him Sultan. And I am his fucking wife. And Rashid? How dare she call him by his name! Even I don't do it! And I am his fucking wife! 

And what did she mean by she was about to become his wife! As far as I know I was promised to marry him since the I was born! Then what nonsense is she spatting! Was he promising her marriage too?

I swear to god if I find out anything like this I will kick him while he is sleeping.

"Aap ko shayed suchna nehi hain ki yaha Sultan ji ko koyi naam se nehi pukarta. Aur dusri baat aap unse vivah karne wale the ya nehi hume ye janne ki abashakta nehi hain. Hum ab unki patni hain or yehi aap ke liye pariyapt hona chahiye."

( Maybe you don't know but nobody calls Sultan by his name here. And the second thing whether you were going to marry him or not is not any of my concern. I am his wife and that should be enough for you.)

"Indeed that is enough." She smirked.

I glared at her but before I could question any further an announcement of food being served was announced and we were to eat now after sultan takes his first bite. 

Ugh I would rather be in my room eating peacefully and maybe feeding someone in between too. I glanced at the unclear silhouette of Sultan through the curtain. Can I deny that I don't want him anymore? Aren't I way past that stage? What if I am left in pieces because of my attraction? 

"Aap sab bismillah kijiye." He announced after taking the first bite.
( You people please start.)

I forgot all about rage and attraction when the food was served in front of me. I definitely did a good job selecting the menu. I wonder if he thinks so too. The menu is okay right? What if it's too ordinary for them.

I didn't wasted my time in any other disturbing conversation. I already don't like these guests. I hope they leave soon. I know sounds very rude but I can't bear the smugness of Bisma.

She is the middle daughter from what I heard earlier. But whatever she is she better go back just as she came. I glared at her again but she caught me looking at her. Her face portraying the same smugness from earlier. It's like she is proud of what she did. 
I just want to go to my chamber and plop on the bed. Please god end this shit show soon.

After spending many minutes which felt like a century the end of dinner was formally announced. I didn't waste a single more second there anymore and lifted my lehenga to leave the place right away.But before I could exit Bisma again stood in front of me blocking my path.

"Let's meet again soon begum sahiba." She grinned and left before I could say anything.

Meet again? Meet again? Never. I am never meeting this woman ever again. I looked at her back as she left with a displeased expression. 

"Meena let's go." I huffed and started walking again in a hurry. The lehenga I put on with so much adoration was now pricking my skin. 

As soon as I reached my chamber I removed the veil with a jerk. I saw the confusion and fear in the face of the attendee by my rushed action,who followed me here.The anger on my face was very evident. I removed the head piece in and threw it away in anger making the attendee flinch.

"Baisa? What is it that's bothering you? What are you so angry about?" Meena approached me softly.

I stopped my action. Looking at her with confusion. She is right. What am I so angry about? What is this unsettling feeling in my heart? Why did it felt so bad when she called him sultan or by his name? What am I so furious about? 

Do-don't tell me I am jealous. I scoffed internally. Jealous? Why would I be jealous?!

"Meena I-"

"Taakhliya!" A voice roared. 
(Privacy!)

I immediately turned around to look the sultan was entering the chamber. The sound of bangles and anklets echoed throughout the whole chamber as the attendees started hurrying out of the chamber.

We are alone again. After that sensual moment. Silence engulfed the whole room as neither of us initiated any conversation. My bare toes rolled in the ground as my thoughts again went to earlier. Can I ask him to do all of that again? No! Oh god! 

"Aapko janna tha na ke kyun itna khafa ho gaye the kal?" He said rolling the sleeves of his kurta.
( You wanted to know why was I so angry yesterday right?)

I nodded in a daze too busy in admiring the piece of hotness in front of me. How did I become so lucky?

"What did I say earlier? Words begum words." He stepped closer.

"Yes." I rasped in a hurry afraid that I will anger him.

He stepped more closer softly taking my face in his palm. Unknowingly I pressed my face against his cold, rough skin, taking in the soft touch. His thumb started running up and down against my cheeks.

"I have been playing this whole conversation in my head throughout the whole dinner. So listen to what I say with a little patience. It's hard..to open up in front of someone. To reveal myself bare. I have never done this and I don't know how to do it."

My heart skipped a bit hearing his words. I looked at him with big,doe eyes. Like I will believe everything he will say. I probably will.

"You have only seen one side of my begum. The nice, loving side. And Allah knows that is the only side I want to show you. But you must know that being a king with luxury, comes responsibility. Responsibility of providing, protecting and fighting. And even if I don't want to be the person I am right now, I have to be. I have to be a dangerous man that will be feared. In fact I am a dangerous man begum."

He pressed his against forehead against mine. Our noses touched, while his warm breath hit my lips making me shiver.

"I am sure you are already familiar with rulers my dear. You already know I am not the person I am that you see. That side is only for you, my wife. I kill people begum, I am guilty of so many crimes that I don't even want you to know. But if I don't do all that I will be the who will be killed. My people won't be protected and I will fail as a king. Do you want me to fail as a king?"

I shook my head in a no.

"I don't want you see that side of me begum. Call me selfish, call me self centered or immature whatever you want. But I fear you will hate me if you ever see me like that. So when you saw me discussing about a murder that I did, I lost my rational side. I know that's the last thing I should do, I should be the most rational person in this sultanate. Believe me I am but all of those leaves me when you are involved in the matter."

I held the wrist of his hand that was touching my face.Bringing it closer to my lips I planted a short kiss. 

"I am sorry. I am so sorry! I overreacted. I acted stupid. It's just you-I it's-"

He pressed his index finger on my lips stopping me say anything further.

"You are the only person who shouldn't ever apologize to me begum. I am the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper like that. I shouted that too in front of Amir. Please forgive me. I will make sure I never make that mistake ever again."

I nodded my head immediately. So what if he kills people. I killed one too. That jerk of a man tried to harm me. So I killed him. It's the same for him. Even worse. 

"But even if you were upset. You should have let me know. You shouldn't have shouted in front Amir. I-I felt so small when you did that..."

"I know...I-I am so sorry begum. I will do whatever you want me to do in return. In return of your forgiveness. Just-just give me a chance. I promise to not my mistake. I am not a perfect person but I will try my best to be a perfect husband for you. Please..." He held me in his gasp in urgency.

I am sure he has his reasons. If he won't then people will attack him. Of course it's not modern day it's ancient times. And he is a king. Of course he kills people. I have been only living in a dream world not realizing the reality of the situation. 

"You are forgetting I am a princess before I am your wife. My father is a king. I-I have seen him kill him people. To serve justice,to protect his people sometimes just to win over. How did you not think of it? You are ruling an entire empire! Of course I know you would kill people."

Lies. All lies. All of them are made up straight lies. I hate myself.

"What would you take in return of forgiveness begum? Do you want me on my knees? I am standing here ready to do anything you want me to do." He looked at me pleading. As much as I loved it I felt pity too. Damn your pretty face you horrible man.

I smirked."No. The only time I want you on your knees is when you we are in a situation like earlier. If you are sorry then I accept. Just-just don't do it ever again." 

He started nodding immediately as if he was about to agree to any condition I give him.

And he was so kind to say all these to me. A normal princess,an actual princess wouldn't even budge hearing about wars or killing. But I am not an actual princess. I am an outsider pretending to be one. I don't know anything about politics, tactics or duties. Maybe all I will ever be is a burden to him not his companion.

Can I tell him about my reality? No! He will think I have gone crazy. There's no way anyone will believe that. I wouldn't have too.

He doesn't deserve me,he deserves an actual princess. Who will be deserving enough to rule the sultanate by his side. 

I abruptly jerked from his grasp to avoid being caught. As if he will know just by the look of my face. This huge burden, it's making me feel so bad every single day.

"Begum!" He grabbed my wrist softly making me turn around and stop.

"What happened suddenly? Did I say something wrong?"

He? Wrong? It's me who is in the wrong place.

"No. I was going to change my clothes. This heavy jewellery and lehenga is making it hard for me to even stand."

He looked at me like he doesn't trust my words. I wouldn't too. 

"Aap ek dam se ese chali aayi humein kuch aur laga. Chaliye koyi nehi. Hum aapki madad kar de? Abhi tak toh sab apne kamre mein chale gaye honge."
( You went away so suddenly I thought something else happened. Should I help you? Everyone must have went to their chambers by now.)

"H-help?" I stuttered.

"Yes? It will be difficult for you to remove all these alone right? Come I will help you." He took wrist making me sit in the couch.

"Aap choriye hum kar lenge." I hesitated.
( Let it be I can do it by myself.)

"Why do it all alone when you have your husband at your service begum?"

He freed my hair from the bun making it touch my back.
Sliding my hair to side he removed the heavy necklace making me sigh in relief. He placed a soft kiss on my back making my back arch in surprise.

"You looked so good beautiful today do you know? I wanted to finish the dinner as soon I could to come to you again. Did you love the outfit? Was it to your liking?" He removed my earrings next after turning me around to face him.

"It was. I liked it very much. I liked everything you sent." I looked down in shyness.

Specifically the anklets and what you did with them earlier.

He removed my nose ring before caressing my cheeks softly.

"I am sorry. I really am begum. I keep forgetting you don't need a protection from the outside world. After all you are the princess of Ratangarh and my wife."

I looked at him in awe. Is he really a sultan? He doesn't behave like the one I read in books. Weren't they arrogant? Who only cared about their wins and losses? Then how did I get him? 

"Baki hum kar lenge!" I stood up immediately as my blush now threatened to spread across my body.
(I can do the rest!)

"Par hum kar toh rahe the!" He stood up with me almost whining.
( But I was doing it!)

I grinned mischievously. Was he actually whining?

"Aww the Sultan Rashid is that desperate for me?" I teased poking his chest with my index finger.

He first looked at the finger on his chest then he looked at me. The desperation from earlier was now gone replacing with inclination as his expressions darkened. He started walking towards me slowly.

"Wh-what?" I took a step back as he took another forward.
My grin disappeared as he took his predatory steps.

He put his face near my ears making me freeze in my spot.

"Of course I am desperate for you begum. Are my actions not an indication enough? Every time I see you I have to clench my desire not to have you my way. But I know my patience will make everything sweeter." He whispered near my ear and licked my earlobes making my inside go wild. That warm, wet feeling awakened something in me again, the desire that I felt earlier in that room.

"Sultan." I whimpered unconsciously.

"Just a yes. Just a yes is all I am waiting for my little wife. If only I was wicked enough to break that freaking promise." He groaned near my ear, his voice ringing through my body sending several waves. His warm breath touched my sensitive skin making me weak in my knees.

"You like making me wait for you don't you? You like to see how I yearn for you. What a tease! It's really not fair begum." He plopped his face in the crock of my neck with a sigh.

Tease? Yearn? When did the roles reversed? I am the one who is being teased and I am the one who yearns for him.

"Just go before I do something we both regret." He stood straight once again.

I didn't move. 

"Just go begum!" He raised his voice slightly.

I scurried away in a rush.

But what if I wanted to do something we both would regret? Coward! I scold myself.