Amir's POV

I fumbled with the ring on my index fingers anxiously. I don't know what it is that is making me feel so anxious. It's been quite a few days since I last talked with her or did so much as gazing at her.

I rejected her. I made her understand everything. I am quite sure too that she will stop pressing or expecting anything from me at all taking in account that she has stopped approaching me all together. But then what is it that feels so uncomfortable, so uneasy. 

"Amir Saheb, Sultan aaye hain." The guard informed with urgency. I stood up immediately nodding at him, fixing my slightly crumbled kurta. 

(Amir, Sultan is here.) 

I felt so guilty again. These days it's hard to even look at Rashid in the eyes. I am not even doing anything but it feels so wrong. Like I am somehow defiling his little sister and snatching the innocence out of her. 

"How are the preparations going on for us to return home?" He asked as soon as he stepped inside. 

"Good.We are all set to leave tomorrow night." I said avoiding his piercing gaze. His gaze was never piercing to me but at that moment it felt like he will see right through me. 

"And Kahir?" He asked again.

"He is already home, with all the hostages in the prison. He's waiting for you to go there." It's like I have surprisingly started to trust Prince Kahir but he has done nothing but proven himself to be innocent time and time again. And honestly, I don't have anything to be suspicious anymore.

"I understand." He looked at me as if he had already figured everything out. I almost squirmed in my position.

"Are you okay?" He suddenly asked me catching me off guard. 

"Why won't I be?" I answered hurriedly. Almost too hurriedly. 

"You look....tense.Is everything alright? Is your mother doing okay?" His brows furrowed in concern. 

How do I tell you, it's not my mother you should be worried about but rather your sister. I wonder if telling him would make it better or worse. 

"Everything is alright. I haven't been getting much sleep these days, that's it." I smiled consciously. 

"I want Maharaja Adhirath to be my acquaintance." He said suddenly which did made me feel relieved but also perplexed. 

"But he is-"

"From North I know. I will use that to my advantage. We are in-laws after all." He gave me one of his 'I am about to do something you won't like' smile. 

"You are planning something dangerous." I shook my head slighly, already disapproving whatever he is plotting. 

"Maybe. But it will be all worth it in the end." He nodded his head at me. "I will leave.Get some sleep maybe? This is last sleep of peace you will get before tomorrow.We are going home after all." He left with those words. 

Home. What is home to me after all? The palace we are returning tomorrow? The one where my mother keeps waiting for me patiently? Or under the moonlight, in the dark where everything around me seems to blend into nothingness? 

Whatever it is I know for certain, the home Rashid is talking about is miles apart from the home I could ever have.

We were back sooner than I expected, the night after the wedding we made our way to Taher and here I am three days later. And the anxiousness followed me all the way from Ratangarh to Taher. What is this feeling that I can't shake off!

I stood outside of the dark and cold chamber of the dungeon as loud screams were heard from inside. Screams that sent shivers deep down my body. 

Slow lights from the torches nearby flickered around as an eerie wind blew past me. Rashid better be done soon because I am not liking it here a bit. As if reading my mind, Rashid soon came out followed by his guards and Prince Kahir shortly. One of the men passed him a white wet cloth and he started cleaning his hands, removing any trace of the cruelty he had just shown inside. 

No matter how much he has changed for Bhabijaan, he hasn't changed a bit as a man, as a ruler. The same cruelty, the same brutalizes. It's even worse than before. He is more ruthless, protecting what's dear to him. 

Kahir gave me a gentle nod as I nodded back at him. He took his leave after muttering a low good night to each of us. I fell swiftly by Rashid's side, walking along with him. 

"You know the screams were very audible, probably even upstairs." I wasn't pretentious, nor unaware. I have grown up in the palace, around rulers who never hesitated to take what or even who they wanted. I grew up around the viciousness everyone seems to fear and equally admire.

But I still can't get myself used to it fully. 

Rashid chuckled darkly beside me. "Good. They absolutely deserved every pain that was served to them, and even more. They touched Begum. And no one touches my wife. They should have known when I took their so called King's life."

I didn't say anything. I was no one to say or inject my opinion into his matters. I could advise, that is what I was here for but at the end he is the Sultan, the owner of his own decisions. 

"Can I ask you something? I want honest answers." He said suddenly making me halt in my steps. 

"Yes, what is it?" I turned to look at him. 

"You know I take your advice for everything, right?" I nodded at him, signaling him to continue. "I have received an unofficial letter from Sultan Mujahid, he is ready to agree with our conditions. Well he did put on some new conditions in return but it wasn't anything I haven't expected. But-"

"But?" My eyebrows raised in curiosity. 

"But for some reason I feel like Aaliyah won't be happy. I mean the whole time in Ratangarh she looked so upset for some reason. And I know I should have brought it up to her earlier but the whole commotion happening all these days, I didn't even remember any of it." 

I looked down not knowing what to say. I know everything and maybe this is the perfect timing to even tell him everything but I can't bring myself to even say a single word. 

Is it because it's not my place to tell anything? Or am I scared that if I say something I am going to lose all the trust he has on me.

"She is your sister, you would know her definitely better than me. Do you think she will ever say no to her Bhaijaan? You have raised her, protected her, provided her for everything she has ever wanted. You have spoiled her more than anyone in the palace. If she won't listen to you then who will she listen to?"

Am I manipulating him? Telling him everything else but the truth? Yes maybe, but is it so wrong? Shehzadi Sahiba is blinded by the infatuation she has for me and she definitely isn't ready to listen to me. If anyone can through her it would be only Rashid. 

"Besides, she is a princess Rahid. You think she isn't already aware of it? She has grown up with the idea of having to be arranged with someone for political gain from her very childhood." Which surprises me more because where did she even get the idea of wanting to be with me! "And Prince Yasir is nothing but a good man, not that older than too," Unlike me. "He is known to be the gentle and kind prince among the sultanate. So you have nothing to be worried about."

He seemed to take my words into consideration. Alhamdulillah for that but I hope he doesn't overthink it too much. 

"Don't think too much. You are doing the right thing. Go back to Bhabhijaan, it's late as it is." I patted his shoulder lightly. 

"You think so?" I nodded at him softly as he looked at me. He exhaled a long breath as he continued. "I think I am going to talk to her soon, maybe first thing in the morning tomorrow? You think that's too soon?"

My heart clenched at the idea, she was hurt right now, upset at me. I don't know how she will take the information. Actually no, the sudden news. After all, marriage is no small thing.

But the faster she receives the news, the better. She will get used to idea of her marriage to Prince Yasir and soon she will get used to her marriage with him. 

"Not at all. This is the most perfect timing. Besides I am sure she will want to know about it as soon as possible. After all this is a sensitive matter." 

Finally he seemed to take my words into consideration as he nodded at me before leaving to go to his chamber. Taking a minute to steady myself I stood on my spot for a good long time. Unconsciously my feet wandered on their own and carried me outside of her chamber.

To Shehzadi Sahiba, I may seem rude or heartless even. But I really need her to understand whatever I am doing, I am only doing for her. A long time after, when all these passes away, I am sure she will look back and find all of these funny. 

She will live a good life with Prince Yasir and serve her purpose as a princess and queen besides him. That's the life she deserves and will get. 

I care for her, deeply. I have literally watched her grow up even though she still sometimes act like a baby. I chuckled to myself softly. 

"Is she sleeping?" I ask the guard standing outside her chamber.

"I am not sure Deewan Saheb. Do you want me to ask her maids?" He asks politely. 

"If you could please." He quickly disappeared in the inner skirts of her chamber.

And as someone who has wants only the best for, I will make sure she gets the best.

"Deewan Saheb!" The dulcet voice carried a tone of desperation and shock in it. She ran out clutching her long dress as if she will miss me if she is even a second late. The glimmer of hope outshining any other stunningly pretty features of her whole face. 

I wonder if this really not infatuation. What if I hurt in the process? I am just overthinking it right? 

"Sambhal ke, gir jayegi aap." My hands burned at my side to catch her to steady her. But I can't and I shouldn't even think about it. Ever so rarely my facade seems to slip, threatening my demeanor to change. But I catch myself as fast as it begins to fall. 

( Careful, you will fall down.)

"Gir toh chuke hain. Kab se." She replied with a pout forming on her lips. 

( I have already fallen down, for so long now.) 

"You fell down? When? Where? Is it severe?" I took a step back to check her head to toe. I know I have nothing to be worried about. She is a princess after all, pampered and well taken care by everyone around her. Hell, she has people assigned to her just to attend her. So, there's nothing for me to concerned about. 

"Tsk." She shook her head as if I have disappointed her big time. "Aap pehle se hi ese bey tawajah the ki abhi ban rahe hain hamare samne?"

( You were always this clueless or you are pretending to be right now in front of me?) 

"Hu-"

(I-)

"Chodiye aap. Bataye, kaise aaj humari naseeb khul gayi jo humko aapki deedar mili hain? Woh bhi ese ek dam sey." She crossed her arms trying to be all interrogating. 

( Let it be. Tell me, how did I become so lucky that I am getting to see you today? That to this suddenly.) 

I sniffled a laugh, preventing it from escaping. She is so adorable at times. Maybe Rashid is right, it's too early for her to get married and sent off. 

"Humein aap se baat karni hain, ho sakti hain?"'

( I need to talk to you, can I?) 

Her gaze softened ever so slightly before she nodded at me. I gestured at her to walk towards the corridor that was attached to her chamber. She fell into slow steps behind me but her petite figure couldn't keep up with the long strides of mine. 

I slowed down a bit letting her walk ahead of me. In no circumstances should she walk behind me.

"Kaisi hain aap?" I tried making small conversation not knowing how to initiate the conversation. 

( How are you?)

"Jaisi aap chhod ke gaye the." 

(However you left me.)

I sighed deeply. I guess no small talk is happening here. I should just straight get to point. 

"Your Bhaijaan will come to you, probably tomorrow. But I wanted to tell you before he did. Whatever I am going to say, I request you to listen without anything on your mind okay? For once I want you to keep your feelings aside and listen to me. Yes?" 

She stopped on her tracks and turned to look at me attentively. Her gaze unsettled something inside me, making me feel smaller and inferior. I probably was. 

"Rashid ne aap ka rishta tay kiya hain, kar rahe hain." I said softly testing her reaction. 

( Rashid has fixed an alliance for you, rather he is fixing it.)

She looked at me. For some time she kept quite. I expected anything anger, tantrums, tears but she was just looking at me. And I couldn't pin her expression. It was blank, so hazy. After some time she asked, "Let me guess? To some Prince or King?"

I gave her a nod of conformation. "Yes, Prince Yasir. But before you say anything let me complete. He is everything you deserve Shehzadi Sahiba. He has all the luxuries you need and deserve, he can provide for you, he is known to be one of the most kind and gentle prince. He is a prince, aspiring to take after his father." I heard her inhaling a sharp intake of breath. "And most importantly, he has agreed to not take any mistresses or wife other than you."

Even when I say it out loud, it feels there is truly no man more deserving for her than him. He is perfect in every sense. 

"Aap ko lagta hain humein shaan-o-shauqat or aish-o-aram ki talab hain? Kami hain humein in tamam nakimti cheezon ki? Agar yahi chahiye hota toh humare pas bhaijaan hain sare khwahishein mukammal karne ko. Humein koi shehzade Yasir-wasir nehi chahiye, aap chahiye humein! Aap."

( You think I want all these magnificence and luxuries? That I am lacking all these trivial things? If I really wanted all these things then I already have Bhaijaan to fulfil all my wishes. I don't want any Prince Yasir, I want you! You.) 

I don't know what made me angry. Her arrogance? Her ignorance? She thinks the luxuries she has, the comfortable life leads is just trivial things? Has she ever even stepped out of the palace and seen people living their whole life, wishing just to have a glimpse of the life she has? 

Who am I kidding! Of course she hasn't and I don't blame her. Ultimately, she has been protected all her life. But to not be grateful about the things she has, to have everything at her feet whenever and wherever she wants, it makes me agitated. 

"Zindagi mein esi bohot sari cheezein hoti hain jo hum chhahte hain, par humein nahi milta, hamare naseeb mein nehi hoti. Aapko shayad ye jazbato ka malum nahi hog, par afsos esa hota hain. Aur aap ke, liye woh hum hain. Tamam aish-o-ishrat aapki kadmo mein Shehzadi Sahiba, par unme hum nehi shamil ho sakte. Aap ko hum nahi mil sakte."

(There's a lot of things in life that we want, but we don't get them, they aren't in our density. You maybe aren't aware of these feelings but unfortunately they do exist. And for you that is, me. Every luxuries will be served at your feet but I can't be included in them. You cannot have me.)

"Theek hain. Humein manzoor hain. Hum karenge Shehzade Yasir se nikah." She smiled warmly. But something in her smile was deceiving, fake. But she was better than anyone else to hide her smiles or emotions. Even I couldn't differentiate between them. 

( Alright. I agree. I will marry Prince Yasir.)

"Really? No more of you being stubborn about all these?" I watched her nod at my question. She was calm, too calm for my liking. The Princess I know isn't known to be giving up so quickly. She literally has to get everything she sets her eyes on. 

But do I any other option but to believe her?