Amir's POV 

Insane. 

No.

Childish.

I don't know how to describe the behaviour of hers. What was she thinking saying all that to me? So, all these years when she looked at me, with those hazel eyes, warming up as soon as they caught me in their hold, she was looking at me in that way, in a way I never imagined her to look at me. 

What am I supposed to do with this information? And the fact that she is being so stubborn? 

My mind swirled with all types of thoughts, all types of possibilities. What would happen if anyone did in fact listen to us, what would happen if Rashid found out about this? Will he hate me? Get mad at me? Decide to strip me out of my position? 

I couldn't help but be restless, and I rarely get restless. Everything in my life is so planned and organized I didn't even have to think otherwise. Well that certainly came to a change since a woman with chestnut hair and hazel eyes erupted it, twirling around with her pink dress. 

"Are you sure you are my friend Amir not some doppelgänger? I shall behead you at once." Rashid nudged me from the side making me break out of my long trance. 

Honestly I don't even know what exact exercise I am doing right now or how long it has been since I am here.

This...doesn't feel right, in every way. I don't like to put myself in such spots. And the guilt? I can't even bring myself to look at Rashid's eyes. I feel like he will see right through me. 

I don't blame him though. He and most other people have never seen me do something that fell out of my routine. But here I was working out like a madman at an odd hour. 

"Not the right time Rashid." I didn't, no rather couldn't look at him. So I just kept doing whatever I was doing.

"No really! I am serious. What happened? The Amir I know would never set his foot outside of his chamber at this time. That too training?" He pressed.

"That's all because of your-" My eyes widened realizing what I was about to say stopping midway. The hell is wrong with me!

"My? My what?" He looked at me with both curiosity and confusion. 

Damn my stupid mouth. "N-nothing. I was feeling anxious so I came here to relieve some tension." Well it wasn't a lie. There was a certain someone that did make me anxious. 

He went silent, understanding I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I know if I can count only one person in the whole world, it would be Rashid. Not even my own mother is as reliable to me as him. I grew up with him, he was that one brother that I never had. 

I have to do something, so I don't do anything to disappoint him. What Shehzadi Sahiba is feeling right now is a mere fleeting feeling. She is confusing her fondness for me with love. And I have to make sure it doesn't turn into something more, something worse. 

She still might be young but she is a princess after all. And as someone who really doesn't want anything to happen that could hamper her honor, I knew I had to step in. 

"Have you not thought about Aaliyah's marriage yet? She is of age now. In fact she has been of age for a while now." I said as composedly as I could have said at that moment. 

Not just that he is a Sultan but he is also someone who is very familiar with every expression and of mine. One wrong look, one twitch in my eyes and he would know right away I am lying or hiding something.

 I acknowledged I caught him off guard when he stopped on his tracks and looked at me with furrowed eyes.

"I-I have. In fact I do have some proposals in hand from some very renowned kings and princes. But you know I am protective of her. We all are. She is the only daughter in our family and the youngest one. It just feels wrong to send her away so soon." I could tell he was taken aback by my sudden interest in his sister's marriage.

"Young? You would be surprised to know how much she has grown up." I muttered silently. He thinks she is young? I scoffed internally. What would happen if I were to disclose her confession to me today to her beloved brother? Would he still think she is still so young and innocent? 

"Why? Why are you suddenly suggesting Aaliyah's marriage?" The confusion of my sudden interference was so visible on his face, play it cool Amir. He should never find out. 

Not from me, not from anyone else. 

"W-what do you mean why? She is of age so of course she should marry. You should choose one of those kings, princes or whatever and wed her off. I am just concerned as your advisor and he-her elder." 

Yes, that's better, way better. She should be married to someone who deserves her. Not someone who works for her brother with no status or social value. She shouldn't even think about it and I am certain once gets married she wouldn't have time to think about such things at all. She will forget I even existed once.

"Right. I shall." He nodded once before continuing with his exercise. As he bid me goodnight with a light tap on my shoulder, I realized how late it actually was. The slow and agonizing soreness flowed into my body finally being conscious of my torture on it. 

I really did overwork myself today. While I thought it would help me take things off my mind, I ended up thinking more about it. And as I sat on my desk four days later with yet another letter from my mother, the thoughts still clouded my mind.

The more I try to just forget about it and focus on my daily life, the harder it becomes. Why does it bother me so much? 

Is it the gaze of her when she uttered those words to me as if she had memorized it a million times? Or is it the desperation in her voice? Or is it the fact that I have been so oblivious that indeed she is always seeking me with some weird request, always trying to make a conversation with me? And not because she was just there, but because she wanted to. 

Because....she loved me. The word 'Love' spread a sourness in my mouth. I didn't love her. I never even looked at her or imagined her in that way. Even if the circumstances were different I wouldn't have been able to reciprocate her feelings. 

With a sigh I took a paper and ink pot to finally write a reply to her letters. She was most probably furious by now of me ignoring her. Fine, I shall agree. Give in to her demands. 

I was planning to delay this matter a little longer. Unlike Rashid and others, my marriage had no political or any sorts of benefits to it. It wouldn't even matter if I married or not, of course the only exception being my mother. 

"Deewan Saheb, Sultan is asking you to join him on the common ground." An attendee said from outside. I stood up from my seat, taking the secured envelope in my hands. Why is he calling me at a peculiar time, he knows I only exercise at dawn. I nod at the attendee before handing him the letter, ensuring that it will be delivered to my mother at the outskirts of the town. 

"What might be the reason for asking me to join you?" I said as I entered the ground catching a glimpse of Rashid. 

"Since you are finally on your way to becoming a normal person and do things without thinking much, I thought I shall entertain you a little more." He smirked.

I groaned, "That was just one time." I lied but he doesn't need to know how everything in my routine has been messed up completely.

"One time is all you need, Amir Miya," He smirked, making me even more annoyed. "Come, join me fast!" 

I exhaled a breath before removing my upper wear slightly. Guess I am taking three showers today. 

"S-sultan, Begum Sahiba..." The guard trailed his words, almost hesitant to say the them.

"What happened?" Instantly all of Rashid's focus shifted on the said boy. His expression instantly transformed into a worried one. 

Putting worry aside, I smiled internally. Is he really the same Rahid I grew up with? The one who only cared about his Sultanate and his siblings. It's not like care or love is a foreign expression on his face. I have seen him being a father figure to all his siblings, making obvious that he would make the most caring father ever. But the fact that a woman, a woman he married for a political alliance could bring out so much out of him is indeed foreign. 

"She wants to come in." He looked down most definitely scared. 

A failed version of laughter escaped my lips before I contained myself as he gave me side glare. 

I scratched my lips with my thumb in amusement. I wonder what the Sultan will say. Even though I already have a decent idea of his response. 

"Let her in." He said gruffly before pinching the bridge of his nose.

Oh, how obvious. 

"That was expected." I said with a low tone. "Why would she come here you think? Do you think she doesn't know what a common ground is anymore because she lost her memory?" 

It was unusual for a woman let alone a Queen to come to the common ground at all. Common ground is common for a reason. If they wanted to learn defense or the art of sword-ship they would practice in their private quarters. 

"I don't know but it's a theory I would like to test." He replied with a monotone. 

"Then why didn't you clear out the ground before her arrival?" I asked again.

He smoothed his hair, "I want my begum to see what kind of situation she got herself into, so she would be too embarrassed to do it again and think twice." He gave me a mischievous grin.

This sick man. 

I looked ahead to see Begum Sahiba arriving with her attendees behind. The look of realization and embarrassment quickly drowned her face even with the veil covering. But what caught my eyes was a pair of sparkling eyes just behind her, and they were looking at me way before I noticed them there. 

What is she doing here and what is she thinking looking at me directly like that! Her eyes on me seemed to burn a hole in me so I averted my eyes from her as fast as they landed. I traded a warm greeting with Begum Sahiba before she turned back to look at Rashid again.

I guess Rashid isn't the only smitten one. 

As Rashid and Begum Sahiba seemed to exchange witty conversation, someone from behind wouldn't take their eyes off of me, even while she was talking to them. Begum Sahiba seemed to say something that grabbed my attention back. Fuck, I wasn't even listining. What did she say again?

"No no! It's nothing private. My cousin sister, Rajeshwari, her wedding date has been fixed!" She said with excitement on her face.

"Oh! Congratulations Bhabijaan!" I said but another voice mingled with mine. I looked at her with questioning eyes while she just flashed one of those grins at me.

"Uh-yes thank you." She seemed confused by our behavior before forgetting about it. 

"When is it?" Shehzadi Sahiba finally left my space, giving me a chance to breathe. 

"End. At the end of this month." She replied. 

"End of this month? Then you don't have much time to prepare bhabijaan! You should prepare to leave immediately if you want to be there in time for all the rituals." Why was she excited about someone else's wedding? I couldn't even be excited about my own. 

"Excuse me. I need to take a bath and prepare for the court today." As Rashid heard about her leaving he got upset before starting to walk away. 

The heck? He is sulking now? Rashid sulking?

"Oh. Lagta toh humare bhaijaan toh khafa ho haye. Jaldi jaiye unhe mana lijiye bhabijaan." Shehzadi Sahiba inverted. 
(Oh looks like my brother got upset. Go fast and pacify him bhabijaan)

"Krodhit ho gaye? Par humne toh-"
( Got upset? But what did-)

"Waqkt zaya na kijiye bhabijaan! Abhi toh aapko jana chahiye."
( Don't waste time here bhabijaan! You should go now.)

As Begum Sahiba turned around leaving us alone together, Shehzadi Sahiba turned around to look at me. 

"What were you thinking coming here?" I crossed my arms but she wasn't even looking at me. Well she was but not at my face. That sly thing. 

"Upar dekhiye, Shehzadi Sahiba." I said a bit loudly to grab her attention.

(Eyes up here, Princess.)

"Humari nazar toh kabse aap par hi hain, aap hi hain jo humein ehmiyat bhi nehi dete." She finally looked me in the eyes. 

( I am only looking at you for so long, you are the one who doesn't give me any importance.)

The exact reason why I have been ignoring her like a plague. I know once I talk to her she will start these inappropriate conversations again. 

"Kabhi toh aapne aas pas ka maholi-mizaj ka kheyal karein Shehzadi Sahiba." I looked both ways knowing Rashid already dismissed everyone around us but what if they came back? She wasn't exactly being discreet about it. 

(You should at least think about your surroundings sometimes.)

She looked at me as if I just didn't almost scold her. Is this the gaze I have been missing all along? Am I that blind? Or maybe I never bothered to look at her before? 

"Aap abhi bacchi nehi rahi, baadi ho chuki hain."

(You are no longer a little kid, you are a grown woman now.)

She gave a knowing smile before fixing her veil, "Is baat se toh hum kabke waaqif ho chuke hain. Humko nehi, ye aapko ilm hona chahiye." She turned away leaving me alone, with her words, thoughts. 

(I acknowledged this fact a long time ago. You should know this, not me.)