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23. Double Personality

Yaksha's POV

I sprawled my hands in the bed but opened my eyes immediately as it was still warm but empty. I blinked my eyes several times to adjust myself with the dim lighting. It wasn't still morning but dawn. I removed the bed curtain slightly to check the room. It was dimly lit with small lanterns.

If the bed was still warm then sultan must be still here right? I always woke up in his arms so when I found the bed empty it made me feel something hollow in my chest. Even when we went to bed yesterday night we slept like how we had awoken up. Tangled up with each other. Since there was nothing to resist anymore with my very breakable resistance I willingly went ahead and made myself comfortable. 

I walked through the chamber hoping he was here somewhere and then when I find him I wanted to grab him again with me to bed and sleep in his arms. This has become a weird habit of mine. If I don't find him when I wake up I feel completely empty even alone. Maybe I have grown some attachment issues or something.

As I walked towards the more inside space of the chamber my anklets made soft sounds as if to announce I am here. I have thought of removing these quite a few times as I didn't like the sound at first. But then I have come to become comfortable with it just as I have become accustomed with my life here a bit. 

Doesn't mean I still don't cry when I'm alone. But I am somehow a little better now.

I peak through a small dimly lighted room to see he was indeed here. He was offering his prayers. He looked so pure,so beautiful there. I stood outside the room admiring him and being grateful that I had such a handsome husband. 
I smirked unknowingly at the thought that indeed I am lucky.

"Akeli akeli ese kuyn muskura rahi hain begum?" His sudden voice brought me back from the trance.
( Why are smiling alone like this begum?)

He folded the prayer mat keeping it aside. God even his voice sounded so good! Okay now I sound obsessed.

Maybe I am.

I didn't entered the room because I didn't know if it was permissible for me to go there or not. Also I hadn't even showered yet so technically I was impure. So I just stood there.

"I didn't find you in bed so I went searching for you. Are you done?"  
Please say yes because I am sleepy as hell.

"Nehi. Abhi toh humein Quran shareef bhi padhna hain. Aapko kuch kaam tha?" He took a book in hand while reciting something.
( No. I still have to read the Quran.Did you have any work?)

Where is the affectionate sultan from last night? I don't like this serious one at all. 
Fine. It's not like I can interrupt while someone does his prayers. I won't be able to sleep now, I am too awake for that now. I huffed and left from there.

I have seriously never awakened up so early in the morning. Since Meena must also be sleeping I took the initiative of bathing myself. I have never once took a shower alone after coming here. They just have things arranged so difficultly that my lazy self doesn't want to do so much work. I walked to the adjoining bathing chamber in the chamber.

I removed my clothes from last night and wore the soft clothes that were used while bathing. This piece of fabric wasn't even appropriate to call a cloth. I swear to god it is so thin that a little water and you can see everything. Like everything!

I tie the knot just a little above my breast and sat down on the cold water on the tub. My body shivered as soon as it touched the water. I was given the princess treatment since I came here. So I wasn't used to being in cold water. There was no special oil or paste too. Ugh I should've just waited for Meena.

As I was raking my eyes through the room to find at least anything to use my eyes fell on a certain bottle in the corner of the room. That pot was in a shelve with few other things that didn't seem relevant right now.

I carefully stood up from the tub so that I don't slip in the water while my anklets made noises. Shit I forgot to remove them with other things. 

I walked to the shelf and grabbed the pot. I opened the bottle immediately and I was right indeed. There was some kind of fragrance in there. I immediately brought my face closer to the bottle to smell the fragrance but once I got a sniff of it I never wanted to use any other fragrance ever again.

It smelled so familiar yet so different. I wanted to use this thing from now on only. I got so excited to use this one that I immediately rubbed a lot on my whole body. I even finished what was remaining in the bottle. Okay now my head hurts.

It's okay. I will just tell them to make a new one for me. I again sat on the tub to wash the fragrance off from my body a little. I stood up to grab my new pair of clothes but there wasn't any!

Oh god. Can I be any more forgetful? I left the pair of clothing on the bed that I took out. Oh no. I can't even go out like this! One, what if someone sees me and two,the whole floor would become wet. I don't want to burden the attendees. They do enough as it is. And after meeting some of them personally I don't want to burden them more.

Maybe I can make a quick run for it? Yes! I will go in a swift and then come back in a swift. Yes! 

"Looking for these begum?" I turned around immediately in shock hearing that voice and noticed that sultan was standing leaning against a pillar while holding the clothes I took out earlier.

I almost smiled that I didn't had to make a run for it but then I stilled on my spot. This fabric, it becomes see through as soon as it touches the water. Which means he can see everything!

I immediately plopped down again in the tub to hide my exposed body. My body deadened in embarrassment and shyness. Did he see anything? I breathed heavily while scolding myself for being not careful enough.

" Aap mein koyi shishtachar hain bhi ke nehi? Ese koyi snan kar raha toh thodi na gusi jati hain! Isi shan bahar jaye aap." I talked while my back towards him. 
( Do you have any manners or not? If someone is showering you shouldn't just enter like this! Get out this instant.)

I sat silent waiting for him to leave. Did I angered him or something? I should correct my tone. Wives here don't speak like this to their husbands. Especially when the said husband is a Sultan.

"Malika-E-Taher."
My body trembled as his voice rang in my ears while his warm breath fell on my exposed shoulder. I turned my head around just a little and saw he was sitting on the edge of the tub.

"Do baate jan lijiye aap. Pehla toh humse koyi ese baat nehi karta. Koyi. Bhi. Nehi." He traced the seam of my shoulder. My breathing increased as soon he touched me on my sensitive spot.
( Remember these two things. First of all no one talks to me like this. No. One.)

He splashed water on my neck without warning and rubbed that space with his fingers. My lips parted and left out a small breath as he touched my bare,wet skin.

"Aur dusri baat. Aj nehi toh kal aapne aapko humein saupna hi hain. Hain na?"
( And secondly. Today or tomorrow you will submit yourself to me. Right.)

His fingers never stopped caressing my shoulder and neck, rubbing all the spot that made me feel hot and sweaty. I could feel myself getting sweaty even though I was completely drenched already.I couldn't even bring myself to give a sassy comeback. 

"But it's okay. I will let you talk like this with me. I will let you talk with me however you want. And only you. You may have everything you desire."

He suddenly brought his face closer to me, resting it on crook of my neck. My breathing only increased and my body only began to feel more hot. Even the water felt hot right now. His nose touched my skin sniffing me like a hunter sniffing its prey.

My eyes closed as I could barely handle this proximity. Clenching my fist under the water, I tried to breathe calmly. It felt strange, so strange down there. Like there was a fire and I needed someone to help me clam it down. 

"You smell good. You smell like me. It suits you more than it suits me."

Smell? How do I smell like him? That... that fragrance. It was the fragrance they use on him. That's why it felt so similar!I used it and finished it too.

"Humein shama karna. Humein nehi pata tha woh aapka hain. Aapki anumati bin ye behvar karna anuchit tha. Aage se esi bhul nehi hogi." I still didn't face him.
( Please forgive me. I didn't know that belonged to you. I shouldn't have used it without your permission. I won't make this mistake again.)

Grabbing my chin with his fingers he turned my face around,making me face him. He lifted my chin so I would look at him. But I couldn't. Not like this. Half-naked! I might as well just say full naked thanks to this damn fabric.

He grabbed my face with such force that I didn't had any options but to look at him in the face.

"Jo is Rashid ka hain woh uske begum Yaksha ka bhi hain. Chahe wo ye sultane ho ya phir ye bay-wasf cheez hi kyun na ho."
( Whatever belongs to this Rashid also belongs to his wife Yaksha. May that be this kingdom or this valueless thing.)

My heart fluttered listening to him. I don't know why exactly he is doing this? To woe me? To have me in his bed? To make me an obedient wife to him? But I seem to not care for that reason right now. Because he is the first person to ever talk to me like this. To care for me to this point. I had nobody doing these things for me. Ever.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?" He tugged my face slightly. 

I nodded my head at him.
"Words. I need words." He pressed his words.
"Y-yes! Yes I understand."
"Good little wife." He left a small kiss on my forehead and stood up from there. 

My body warmed up as he voiced out those little words of praise.

"Now can you wear these clothes by yourself or should I help-"

"No! No. I can help myself." I said so he can't finish his sentence.

"I will be waiting outside. Let's have breakfast together today."

As soon as he left I left out a long sigh. My small and virgin heart can only handle so much. How am I supposed to put up with his flirting behavior, his charm, his touch and most importantly his dangerous face!

I cleaned myself properly and reached out for the clothes while giving myself a ted talk to never be this over-smart again. I wore the skirt and tied it around my waist. I wore the blouse too but as soon as I tried to tie the knots behind I couldn't do it properly.

I tried to do it again and again but I just couldn't! My hands wouldn't reach there! Sighing in disappointment I went outside wrapping the dupatta around my upper body.

I started to walk to the entrance but stopped when sultan suddenly asked from behind, "Where are you going? The breakfast is here. Come let's eat."

I shook my head in a no.

"What? You don't want to eat? Do you want me to feed you?" He grinned mischievously.

"No. I am going to call Meena. I need her for something."
His face changed from playful to worried in a moment.
"What is it? Are you okay?" He came closer cupping my face with his both palms.

My heart felt something noticing the worry in his voice.

"Yes! I am absolutely okay! It's just umm t-the, the blouse. I need help with tying the blouse." 

"Oh." His face relaxed once again. "Why call her when you have your husband at service? Turn around."

"Huh?"
"Turn around. I will do it for you."
"No it's okay. I will just ca-"
"Turn around Yaksha. I don't want someone else to help you when I am here, completely able to help you."

I turned around hesitantly. He lowered the dupatta a bit while taking my freshly wet hair which had been dripping water.Swinging it around my neck he clutched the strings to tie the knot. I licked my completely dried up lips while gulping in nervousness. As soon as his fingers touched the skin of my back my body bent forward, as if I was given a shock.

On top of that the water from my hair was dripping down my body making me shiver in cold while my nipples hardened in the cold water.

He tugged the strings pulling me closer while whispering into my ears, "Stand still so I can do this properly."

I clutched my lehenga in a fist with both hands while trying to feel like this is nothing. It's nothing. His fingers are barely touching my back. But every time his finger even slightly grazed my skin I involuntarily bitten my lips to not let out any kind of noise.

He tightened the knots slightly shaking me. "Is it okay?"

"Yes." 
Once he was done he backed away letting me know it's done.
I finally sighed in relieved breath. 

I went towards the couch where there was food for us. As soon as we were about to sit down an attendee announced that Amir was here.
My brows furrowed in confusion. As much as I knew Amir was his advisor and right hand. We never meet officially but I heard about him from Aaliyah randomly. What was he doing here this early in the morning?

I looked at sultan with questioning look. 

"Aap Bismillah kijiye. Hum abhi aate hain." 
( You start. I will be right back)

What the hell! He invited me to eat with him and now he is abandoning me for work. I pouted while he asked the attendee to let him in. No way I am starting without him. I pulled my veil on top of my head since Amir was here too.

As soon as I stepped near them to greet Amir, I saw that they were immersed in some kind of serious conversation. I thought it wouldn't be polite to just barge in the middle of the conversation. So I just stood there.

"It is done. The body and its parts were delivered to his family member with our letter accurately. Our spy confirmed it. Do you think it will work this time?" Amir said with worried laced in his eyes.

Body? Whose body? Delivered to family members? Did they kill someone? I mean he is a king so of course it was normal for them. But my body trembled in fear. What was I thinking! He is capable of killing someone and discuss it over a meal! It's that easy for him! 

While I was being enchanted in his flirtatious way, he was busy killing people. Literally living, breathing killing. My body filled with horror. The rest of the conversation became a blur.

"Assalamualaikum bhabijaan. What are you doing there?" 

Amir suddenly noticed me standing there. I stumbled upon finding my words. How do you speak again? I was still thinking about that murdered person. Was he innocent? Did they kill someone for their own benefit?

"Yaksha? Aap yaha par kya kar rahi hain? Humne kaha tha na aap khaiye hum aa rahe hain? Toh phir uthke yaha kyun chali aayi?" Sultan's voice wasn't soft like earlier. It was covered in anger, disappointment and disdain.
( Yaksha? What are you doing here? I told you to eat, I will be there right? Then why did you come here?")

He had never talked to me like this. Even on that celebration day his voice was clam. But now it was anything but clam. He sounded furious.

"W-Woh hum w-woh aap nehi aa rahe the toh humne socha d-dekh lete hain k-kyun nehi aa rahe hain." I stuttered in distress.
( Th-that I th-that, you weren't coming so I thought I should s-see w-why you weren't coming.)

"Don't do this again. Never. When I am talking with anyone don't eavesdrop. Do you understand?" His voice seemed less furious than before but he was still enough raged. 

I lowered my gaze as tears threatened to fall from my eyes. I am not crying. I bite my lips in order to contain myself. No. I don't cry in front of anyone. No no no no. Control yourself!

"I asked you a question."

"Y-yes. I understand." I replied still keeping my gaze lowered.

He immediately left the chamber while I stood there like a mannequin. I lifted my gaze to look at Amir, who was looking at me with sympathy. Great! He even insulted me in front of someone else. And this is my first impression to him!

Amir sighed and left the chamber probably not knowing what to say.

I myself didn't know what to say. I went back to the inner side of the room noticing the food was left untouched. I don't like to waste my food but I didn't have any appetite anymore. I covered the food with the plates around and told an attendant to not let anyone disturb me.

I went towards the bed removing my veil and lying down slowly. What a bipolar person! One time he is talking to me softly and then....then like this.

Tears fell from eyes without any resistance as I lied there thinking how much I missed mumma. 
I never cried in front of her but she still would understand how stressed I was.

I placed the duvet over my body and clenched a pillow close to chest holding on it like my dear life. What is it that I did so wrong? I just went to call him. Did he not want me to listen to his political matters? Is that it? Did he still consider me, my kingdom as a threat?

Does he think I would spy on him or something? He doesn't trust me? Is this what it is? And here I was slipping away by his sweet talks.

I sighed and closed my eyes since I woke up very early in the morning. I should take a nap not think about the nap not about the one who just insulted me in front of other people.

The sultan can go to hell for all I care.

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